These come my way via my "friend" Brian, who brought them back for me from a Traverse City trip he recently took. He kept snickering while telling me about them and his trip. In normal people, this might have raised some red flags, but then again...I review pickles.
I'm not normally one to really have a "process" of reviewing these things, but over time, I've learned that there really are 3 or 4 "phases" of a review: first impressions, second impression, "munch-ability" and the can-I-finish-the-jar phases. Usually, by "munch-ability" phase, you have a pretty good idea of the last phase.
First impressions: When you open up the plastic container, you immediately get a whiff of GAHLICK! Yes, these have garlic in them, and in substantial quantities. They are a fresh-pack type of pickle, much like Claussen pickles, so you also get a very cucumber-y freshness along with it. Visually, you can tell there's lots of goodies packed in there: little shreds of what looked like onion (but was actually garlic), a lurking jalapeño and what I originally thought was a little orange pepper for color (we'll get to that in a bit). First bite was crunchy and the brine was very much like a Claussen pickle with that lighter vinegar and salt-water flavor. There was a boatload of garlic flavor and a nice tinge of heat. "Xtra Hot", I thought...meh...maybe for the faint of heart, but I've had hotter. The crinkle cut slices are great for munching and trying out pickles...for a review, fer-instance! Note that the brine level didn't completely cover these first impression specimens...
Second impression: After a non-threatening first impression, I went back later that evening to munch a few more. Now, the slices were more submerged in the brine. Lesson learned: never make judgement on spice levels until you've eaten one that's been lurking in the brine. BANG! Yep. They're "Xtra Hot"! And, yes, have GARLIC in them. What appears to be some kind of happily clear, non-threatening brine turned out to be a devilishly transformative solution adding lava-like heat to these innocent cukes! Wow! I looked on the ingredients panel a little closer and Lo-and-Behold, after "Fresh Jalapeños" there sat "Fresh Habeneros" smirking back at me.
OK, so far, the 1st and 2nd impressions have varied wildly. "Munch-ability" is a bit more suspect...
After 12 hours or so for the ashes that were my tastebuds to dissipate, I figured I'd try for that munching goal. The 1st and 2nd impressions came together, and while the searing heat didn't disappear, I'd have to say that these were still very munchable, although in quantities that will probably eliminate worries of the container ever getting too close to room temp. My last goal post, I think will have an answer of Yes, we'll be finishing these babies off, albeit rather slower than most.
These are probably the only pickles that could stand shoulder-to-shoulder with the McClure's spicy pickles or Harrold's Texicun Derned Hot pickles on the heat side of things. The garlic content is undeniably high and ever-present. On flavor they're very good, but because of the boldness of both garlic and heat, they have a "one-trick-pony" profile about them. This isn't a "bad" thing, but it's a "what is" quality.
I looked on their website, and Freakin' Pickles has (at this time) 14 varieties and surprisingly, a number of retailers across Michigan that handle their brand. I'm down in Monroe regularly for band rehearsals, and Hi-Lite Market carries them, as well as a number of other local food products (shameless promotion: my wife sells a seasoned salt, Grandma Kuehnlein's Secret Recipe, at Hi-Lite).
So, Brian Ottum remains a true friend, not just a food prankster, for bringing me back a unique pickle to enjoy and review. Brian is an accomplished nature photographer and astronomy imager and loves to teach and mentor folks on his passions for the heavens and capturing their beauty. You can find his work at AstroPicsDaily on Instagram and his tutorials and sky tours on YouTube. Thanks, Brian!
